Battle of Sunning Rocks: Scene One

[Mickey]

THE BATTLE FOR SUNNING ROCKS: A FAN FICTION/PLAY BY KAL AND MICKEY!

Charecters: those from the warriors books.
Scene One: Opens with a band of RiverClan warriors facing a band of ThunderClan Warriors,poised in battle lines, waiting for leaders signal to battle.


Leopardstar: can we have sunningrocks?

Bluestar: Whats the magic word?

Fireheart: *whispers to sandstorm* - What the heck?

Leopardstar: *sighs and says in exasperated voice* please

Sandstorm: i dont know

Bluestar: Now...was that so hard to be polite before we tackle each other in a fight?

Leopardstar: I guess not....

Tigerclaw: GET ON WITH IT!

Bluestar: Oh. Right.

Cinderpelt: WAIT!

Bluestar: What?

Fireheart: I'm confused.

Cinderpelt: I dont have enough herbs......can we do this tommorow?

EVERYONE ELSE IN UNISON: NO

Bluestar: TC- fetch CP some herbs

Tigerclaw: BUT IM THE BEST FIGHTER!! *Bluestar glares* TC says in rushed voice "Other than you Bluestar"

Bluestar: You’re kidding yourself. The best fighter in this clan is Snowkit.

Snowkit: meh? ygay! mumly i is the bestest fighter in thundar clam!

Speckletail :That’s wonderful honey.

Snowkit: what?

EVERYONE THERE- *stares*

Leopardstar: shakes herself and says "can we PLEASE have sunning rocks?"
ThunderClan: NO!

Bluestar: Uh…no I guess.

Leopardstar: Uhh YOU’RE SO ANNOYING!

Fireheart: You guess? *says incredulously*

Bluestar: What do I care? I'm gonna be dead in three chapters anyway

Leopardstar: sooo we can have it?

Bluestar: Nope. It belongs to ThunderClan for about another three/four books until Twolegs...uh I'm saying to much.

Fireheart: She means no.

Leopardstar: Kinda figured that

Snowkit: IM THE BEST FIGHTER IN THUNDER CLAN!

Cinderpelt: I have no herbs!!! You can't fight!

Bluestar: Is Tigerclaw back?

Snowkit: im the best fighter in Thunderclan!

Fireheart: Be Quiet.

Snowkit: wadda u know your not the best fighter in thunder clan!

Tigerclaw: I'm back! Heres the herbs, and I also found these. *holds up maracas*




Bluestar: HAaaaaayy CARAMBA!!!!!

Sandstorm: This party is off the heezy!

Leopardstar:*dancing next to Bluestar* Can I have sunning rocks now?

Tigerclaw: *growls*

Leaopardstar: PLEASE.

Bluestar: Nope.

Snowkit: I'm the best warrior in ThunderClan!

Fireheart: We're not even having a battle!

Snowkit: Fine I'm the best DANCER in ThunderClan!

Cinderpelt: Great. Now I've got too many herbs. We aren't' even having a battle.

Bluestar: I.....CAN'T.....HEAR YOU......

Snowkit: YAY! I'm not alone!

Bluestar: WHAAAT?

Snowkit: I said- I'm NOT(the song ends) ALONE!

Bluestar: Why are you shouting?

Tigerclaw: Can we get on with it?

Fireheart: I kinda agree bluestar. We can't let RC get away with the territory.

Tigerclaw: *finally-I'm on a clock here... i gotta lead the dogs into TC territory by tomorrow*

Bluestar: what was that ?

*tigerclaw starts whistling*

*Stormfur and Mistyfoot come running up the hill*

Bluestar: MY KIDS!

Stormfur: Who the f' are you?

Bluestar: You don't recognize me?

*both shake their heads*

Bluestar: *starts wailing*

Leopardstar: Now can we have sunning rocks?

Tigerclaw: The magic word.

LS: PUURRRRLEASE.

Tigerclaw: Bluestar is currently incapacitated...*glances at the wailing leader who has thrown herself on the ground and his having a temper tantrum*...so I'll say No for her.

Fireheart: HA! I TOLD YOU HE WAS A TRAITOR! HE JUST ASSUMED BLUESTARS AUTHORITY!

Sandstorm: Your getting paranoid Fireheart. He IS the deputy.

Fireheart: I thought I was? Bluestar has already gone nuts and attacked WindClan- so I'm deputy.

Tallstar: Bluestar attacked us? But I'm still alive so its ok.

Fireheart: You like, NEVER die.

Tallstar: COOL. I'm IMMORTAL!

Snowkit: BIG DEAL I'M THE BEST WARRIOR In THUNDERCLAN!

Tallstar: I dont care what you are as far as im concerned your a KIT!

Snowkit: *Starts wailing*

Tallstar: Im sorry

Snowkit: IM THE BEST WARRIOR IN THUNDER CLAN! yay!

Leopardstar: Ok i am getting REALLY mad now. I AM TAKING SUNNINGROCKS BEFORE I GO!

Bluestar: then dont leave!

Tigerclaw: that made no sense.

Snowkit: IM the best warrior in THUNDER CLAN!

Stumpytail: I HAVE THE STUMPIEST TAIL IN SHADOWCLAN!

Bluestar: where did you come from?

Brokenstar: we heard a party and wanted to come!

Stumpytail: soo i lead with my stumpy tail following! yay cow!

Snowkit: do you listen to yourself when you speak?

Stumpytail: How do you even hear, your deaf!

Snowkit: O yeah can you say that again in sign language?

Fireheart: O come on. Lets not sit around and talk! thats what gatherings are for. We either party or fight. Now here comes my sister with ICECREAM SO I SAY PARTY!

Sandstorm: I wanna talk.

Princess: But I have ice cream!

Cinderpelt: better than herbs.

Snowkit: *Jumps inside the ice cream and starts swimming in it*

SPECKALTAIL: Snowkit GET OUT OF THERE!

Snowkit: *Still swims*

Fireheart: I think he only hears what he wants.

Sandstorm: yeah. Now I think its that twoleg called Micheles turn.

Fireheart: deftly

Sandstorm: Ah. Here she is.

Fireheart: YAAY!

Bluestar:AHHH WHO IS THE HUUUGE TWOLEG KIT THAT IS IN NO WAY A WEAKLING?

Fireheart : Bluestar, meet Co-Writer Michele. Michele, Bluestar.

Bluestar: Want to party with us?

Michele: Sure! *grabs the maraca's*

Leopardstar: Hey, cowriter Michele? Can you write that Bluestar generously gives us Sunningrocks now?

Michele: What was that?

Leopardstar: Can you write that Bluestar generously gives us Sunningrocks?

Michele: *hums*

Leopardstar: Are you listening?

Michele: Not unless you say..

Leopardstar: If you say "the magic word" I'm going to smack you.

Michele: Fine. But say "it".

Leopardstar: *frowns*

Michele: I could write that you die you know.

Leopardstar: ...please.

Michele: No. Talk to Cowriter Kal about it.

Leopardstar: here comes that small and proud cowriter kal, who is amazingly prettier than cowriter michele!

Michele: I heard that!

Leopardstar: Can we have sunningrocks?

Kal: Im not going to be annoying and put you through the "What is the magic word" junk. You are an awesome cat, so i say no

Leopardstar: WHAT!

Kal: you awesome so i didnt put you through "What is the magic word" i just said no

Fireheart: I really like cowriter kal

Sandstorm: Me too

Cinderpelt: Yeah she is awesome

Tigerlclaw: Yeah she is really cool

Cinderpelt: have some ice cream Cowriter Kal!

Kal: yeah thank you everyone, but you know who else is awesome? shes another cowriter....her name is Cowriter miche-*Cuts off* A BIRD! yay! OOOO I LOVE BIRDS!

Snowkit: Look at the pretty birdie!

Speckletail: Snowkit, thats not a friendly bird. *says normally* Thats a hawk.

Snowkit: What?

Speckletail: *SCREAMS* THATS A HAWK!

Snowkit: What?

Speckletail:: That. Is. A. HAWK.

Snowkit: What?

Speckletail: Thats a hawk. [says normally]

Snowkit: OH! *gets out of hawks way just in time.

ThunderClan: *sighs in relief*

RiverClan: *does nothing*

Bluestar: You could at least be happy that a kit wasn't stolen.

Leopardstar: Sure- a kit, but that kit is the best warrior in ThunderClan!

Tigerclaw: *sighs exasperatedly* Am I the ONLY one who notices that snowkit is a KIT?He's not even a WARRIOR!

*cricket. cricket.*

Fireheart: No.

Tigerclaw: Thank you.

Fireheart: But you are the only one who cares.

Tigerclaw: *growls*

Fireheart: *growls back*

Tigerclaw: *glares*

Fireheart: *glares harder*

Tigerclaw: *low rumble*

Fireheart: *deep rumble*

Tigerclaw: *jumps at Fireheart*

Fireheart: *moves out of the way*

Leopardstar: Perfect! Now I can take Sunning Rocks while ThunderClan fights amongst itself!

Tigerclaw: *tilts head at Fireheart*

Fireheart: *Nods*

Michele: I’m Outtie.

Kal: Uh-me too. GREAT party!

Michele & Kal * leave at top speed-followed by the small band of windclan and
shadowclan*

*Tigerclaw & Fireheart exchange nods again*

*Tigerclaw & Fireheart jump at Leopardstar*


Leopardstar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH RUN AWAY!

RiverClan: *jumps into song*

RiverClan: Run Away. Run Away. Run away from the dirt they make in the dirt. Run away. Run away. Run away.From these horrible nasty o kitties! These cats with there magic words. Fighting a battle yet yelling about birds. We're all full of Ice Cream, so let us get out of here. *start running amok*

ThunderClan: You swimmers are a bloody joke, you couldn't beat an artichoke. If battle you chose to renew, we'll taunt you till you all turn blue. Your mommas all were-

*music twangs*

Mistyfoot & Stormfur: THATS IT! YOU DON'T MAKE FUN OF OUR MOMMA!

Bluestar: YAY! They love me!

Mistyfoot: We didn’t say that.

Bluestar: *wails*

*music starts up again*

ThunderClan: Run Away. Run Away. it seems like a helpful solution. Run Away. Run Away. To avoid this mom revolution.

RiverClan: RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!

ThunderClan: RUUUUUUUUN AWAY!!!!

BOTH CLANS:RUUUUUN AWAY!!!!![/u][/size]

*Music Ends*

Cinderpelt : We’ll be taking a short break.

*All cats scatter*


END SCENE ONE.

[Mickey]

(I'll edit it and make it pretty once I get home)

SCENE TWO: opens in bluestars den, with Fireheart and Sandstorm


FH: Im confused
SS: Me too
(Bluestar & Tigerclaw enters)
BS: What are you doing in my den?
TC: Is there a party goin on in here?
FH: Uh we were kinda alone.....
TC: Sorry
BS: right...I gotta do some....um....talk to the elders about ceremonys....yeah.... thats it..........
FH: uh ok....
*TC AND BS LEAVE*
FH: *Sings* Once in every moon there comes a song like that
SS: it starts off soft and....um....a nice tuneeeeeeeee and ends up with a....um chat
FH: *Sings* And this is the song that goes like thattttttttt
SS: Yes like that!
FH: Its like thatt
SS: I would like to,,,, um chat
FH: instead were gonna sing the song that goes like that
SS: This "That" Songgg goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on
FH: *continues* and on and on and on
BS: *walks in* I can hear you and your both very tone deaf
FH: *speaks* What a coincidence, so is the Cowriter writeing this!
Kal: *Walks in* Thats me! LETS SING!
Kal, FH, SS, and BH: and on and on and on and on and on
TC walks in and joins them
kal, fh, ss, bs, and tc: and on and on and on and on and on and on and on!
CP: AHHHH! YOU ARE GIVING All OF US HEADACHES! PLEASE STOP!
Others: *stop*
SS: *in a small voice* ...sorry...
CP: What?
BS: Sorry.
Kal: Yeah- I know I'm tone-deaf.
CP: Huh?
TC: TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF YOUR EARS!!!
CP:*tilts head* Oh no- am I going deaf?
*runs away- still with hands on ears*
TC,Kal,SS,BS,FH: *stare*
TC: Ok. So I'm confused.
Kal,SS,BS,FH: *nod twice slowly as they watch CP run*
TC: you know, the way you did that was mildly creepy.
Kal,SS,BS,FH: *exchange glances* yea....uh huh... pretty much...we know..yep!
TC: Well ok then!
SS: Can we be alone now?
BS: Right- sorry! *leaves*
TC: Ok- but NO MORE BLOODY SINGING!
*mumbles to himself as he pads away* " i can't get a headache now- the dogs are two scenes away!"
Kal: CAN YOU STOP GIVING THINGS AWAY? *yells after him*
TC: *shakes head as camera fades off him*
Kal:*sighs* Then brightens. Well- now we can have our own little party!
SS&FH: Good luck with that! *run off*
Kal: ...I'm all alone....
TC: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SINGING?
Kal: Right. SORRY! I need to write the next part anyway. *takes out paper and pen as the camera fades off*

*Camera fades back in on Kal riding her bike through the forest*

Kal: *sings very badly* How do you document real life when real lifes gettin more like fiction each day? tigerclaws gonna get some dogs and now this deadline..one secne away!! DOGS!
Weakling: *walks in and joins with a gutair* how do you write a song when the chord sounds wrong
Kal: I dont know i am tone deaf!
both: WHen ones tone deaf and the others a weakling....cant find anything to go to this tuneeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
TC: *speaks* AHHHHHHHHHHHH! This is exactly wht i need. To come back from a REALLY tireing meeting with scourge and-*is cut off*
BS: Whos scourge? When did your voice change?
Kal: by the way mickey...about that last part you wrote....the ending.... why would i write it with a piece of paper and a pen when i could just type...?
Mickey: You were in a den....how could you type?
Kal: ummm yeah.... about that....
Mickey: *Checks pack* Wheres my laptop?
Kal: Thats what I was about to say,,,,,you see........I didnt STEAL it... *blurts out* KEVIN DID! I think..um...he said ummm something um about ummmm payback for..........................stealing....that book! the starwars book! yeah lets go with that!
Mickey: Lemme see your pack....
Kal: Ok
*Mickey checks pack and finds....nothing.*
Kal: told ya. Kevin has it.
Mickey: *glares.*
TC: *walks out*
FH: *walks in with SS* Ok we WANNA BE ALONE!
BS: Then go somewhere else.
SS: *Says in the Lola voice from darn yankees* You want to hurt sandstorms feelings!
BS: Uh nooo....i dont wanna hurt anyones feelings...when did your voice change?
SS: *ignores last question* Then be good cat! and do wht Sandstorm tell you to do!
*Music starts of 'Whatever lola wants'*
SS: Whatever Sandstorm wants....sandstorm gets...and leader cat...warrior sandstorm, want you to leave....make up your mind to have......ummm...Dont relax....go away right noww leave us be! I always get.....what I aim for...thats mainly cossssssss Fireheart doesnt want me to leave him so he gets me anything I wanttttttttt! whatever Sandstorm wants.......Sandstorm gets..... BS:*yells* Why is everyones voice changeing?
FH: I dont know! UGH! Just leave me alone! I just want to Be with SANDSTORM!
Kal: Geesh shut up! you sound like my brother!
Mickey: yeah the one whos gonna DIE cos he took my laptop! And,now, I have to follow Rule #43, because Kal is calling me a Weakling.
FH: I don't think you are a weakling Mickey.
SS: Same here.
Mickey: Thanks. And kal? Even if Kevin took it, you have to have it if you said you could just type.!
Kal: uh...well...you see...
Mickey: *Taps foot*
Kal: DON'T HURT ME!!!!!!
*Mickey charges after Kal and both run off screen*
BS: *gazing transfixed* Sandstorm! I think you are very pretty. But I’m not interested. Thank you, no. ….I’m married.
*Bluestar runs off*
FH: What the f’ was that all about?
SS: *shrugs*
SS&FH: *Glance in two directions*
FH: I think we are finally alone!
SS: YES!

*crickets*

FH: …So…now what?
SS: Uh…. we could play cards.
FH: Ok!

*fade out*

*fade in on Kal & Mickey* Mickey is throwing pillows at Kal yelling “ I AM NOT A WEAKLING!!!!!!”*

*fade out*
*fade in on Tigerclaw*

Tigerclaw: *growling* grrr…I have such a headache now…
Scourge: *appears out of nowhere*
Tigerclaw: AH!
Scourge: I don’t know what Kal is on about, you are the weakling. *shakes his head*
Tigerclaw: I AM NOT!
Scourge: To be fair, so is Mickey. So I guess you have something in common.
Tigerclaw& Mickey(VOS):

I AM NOT A WEAKLING!!!!!!!!!

[/center]
Scourge: Whatever. Its time to get back to the business at hand. Over that hedge is a pack of vicious rabbits.
Tigerclaw: Rabbits?
Scourge: Yes.
Tigerclaw: That is your master plan? Attack ThunderClan with rabbits??
Scourge: nooooo You use the rabbits to lure the dogs to the camp.
Tigerclaw: ooooooooooooo……….
Scourge: Get it now?
Tigerclaw: ….ooooo……….. No.
Scourge: I take it back- your not a weakling, your just stupid.
Tigerclaw: Why am I giving you part of the forest when I take over again?
Scourge: Because you know that I’m going to kill you in one stroke and take the entire forest for myself.
Tigerclaw: Say what?
Scourge: Anyways, here is what you do. You kill those rabbits, and then lay a trail from the dogs to the ThunderClan camp.
Tigerclaw: Got it!
Scourge: Good. *runs off*
Tigerclaw: Kill the dogs, lay the trail for the rabbits to follow into the camp. GOT IT!

*fade out*
*fade in on Fireheart and Sandstorm*Sandstorm has this huge pile of ships next to her, and Fireheart has almost none.

Sandstorm: Straight. In Diamonds.
Fireheart: …go fish?...
Sandstorm: Just show me your cards.
Fireheart: *has a joker, a two of spades, a king of hearts, a 4 of diamonds, and a “rules of poker” card* Do I win?
Sandstorm: …No. So now you owe me three mice and a rabbit.
Fireheart: How did you get so good at this anyway?
Sandstorm: I play every 7 sun highs at the Queens Poker Party.
Fireheart: Who else plays?
Sandstorm: Mary Alice Young, Susan Meyers, Bree Van Dee Kemp, Edie Britt, Lynette Scavo, and Gabrielle Solis.
Fireheart: Are they even cats?
Sandstorm: Cats? Playing poker? Are you crazy?


*fade out*
*fade in on Kal and Mickey, who are locked in an intensive pillow fight*

Bluestar: Uh…what are you guys doing?
Kal&Mickey *freeze*
Bluestar: Hello? Climax of play…needs to be written…..?
Mickey: Right.
Kal: Oh yeah. The climax is when Tigerclaw brings the dogs to Sunning Rocks and they…
Mickey: *elbows her, she shuts up* We’ll get to work on it immedietly.
Kal: Right.
Bluestar: Ok then. *leaves*
Mickey: And by we, I mean- you. Its your punishment for calling me a weakling. SEE YA!
Kal: HEY!

END SCENE TWO!

[kal]

*Secne Three*

Scourge: Are shadowclan and Riverclan joined yet?
Tigerclaw: umm im still depuaty of ThunderClan
Scourge: WHAT?!
Tigerclaw: Yeah. See first I lead the dogs, then im exiled from ThunderClan cos Bluestar wasnt on top of things and never exiled me when I was attacking her. Hehe so First I lead the dogs then kill Fireheart becomes deputy and thats when she dies and Fireheart is leader and im leader of shadow clan. So first I lead the dogs then when Fireheart is leader I become leader of shadow clan and thats when ShadowClan and RiverClan are joined together. Got it? FIrst I lead the dogs...Just so you know. First is dogs. Thats that.
*Rambles on and his voice becomes quiet and scourges voice gets louder
Scourge: *Talks over the rambling* He is such a loser. Like NO WAY!God how many times does he have to say "First I lead the dogs" and such.
Tigerclaw: *ends.* GOt all that?
Scourge: Uh yeah. Ya know what thats not exactly going to work I was thinking killing you now....so...sorry...Its been nice working with ya...but....its been good. *Kills Tigerclaw*


*Camera fades*

Mickey: *Has Kal locked inside a chamber of pillows and is pokeing her with a stick when she doesnt write*
Kal: I wrote it...weakling
Mickey: *taps kal LIGHTLY with the stick*
Kal: Sorry! Your NOT a weakling
Mickey: One hundred times
Kal: Mickey is not a weakling Mickey is not a weakling....etc
Bluestar:* Walks in*
Mickey: Not now...We have the leader of thunder clan in our presense! What do you need, Bluestar?
Bluestar: Tigerstar is dead.
Mickey: Thats good.
Bluestar: Tommorow were having a celebration and we expect you both to be there.
Kal: *starts to say: We will" but is cut off*
Mickey: We will be there. Kal, dont talk.
Kal: *Glares*
Mickey: See ya there!
Bluestar: *Walks out*
Kal: Mickey is not a weakling...etc
Mickey: *pokes LIGHTLY with stick* Dont just say it, have some meaning!
Kal: *Stands up in face* MICKEY IS NOT A WEAKLING MICKEY IS NOT A WEAKLING
Mickey: Sit down! Im keeping my eye on you! You will never get out of this pillow fort! Im going to bed. You think of three reasons that im not a weakling and if you dont, im tying you to a pole and poking you! But LIGHTLY!
Kal: *mutters under breath* Your not strong enough.
Mickey: What was that?
Kal: *says quickly* Umm that its your turn to write!

[Mickey]

Mickey: Alright. You stay there. I think we should keep the story focused on the actual story right now.

*camera fades*

-Cut To- commercial-
*close up on tigerclaws face*

Tigerclaw: Hi, um I have a little public service announcement. I want you to know, that when you die after living a wicked life...you um...go to DevilClan....and they transform you to the darkside. So yeah um...here it is:

My name is Tigerclaw.
And I yeah, I used to have it all.
I was the most respected warrior of my clan...blah blah blah.
My leader was soft, helping the other clans.
When I avenged a warriors death, I got pushed aside.
mutters[course- I was the one who killed the warrior..]

So I switched the dark side.

Haven't looked back since.
Now i'm killing people for annoying me....
...becoming an apprentice even though I'm a fierce mentor...
Its just BOSS man.

My name is Tigerclaw, and I'm a DevilClan leader.

fade to a screen that says " www.devilclanrules.com/maketheswitch/wehavecookies"


*camera fades*
*camera fades in*

Fireheart: WAHOO! TIGERCLAW IS DEAD!
Sandstorm: Not exactly. I hear a rumor that he is going around advertising DevilClan....
Fireheart: Whats DevilClan?
Sandstorm: I don't know, but anything with "evil" in its name has to be sinful.
Fireheart: But so does everything thats reallly good.
Sandstorm: huh?
Fireheart: Lost my train of thought....
Sandstorm: Why do I put up with you?
Fireheart: You know, I've always wondered that. I mean, I push you around, go over your head, make you insanely jealous...and yet your always there for me.
Sandstorm: Tis' a good point.
Fireheart: Yeah...
Sandstorm: Whatever. Look!
Fireheart: At what?
Sandstorm: Over there! Dogs! There at Sunning Rocks!
Fireheart: Maybe its another party! Lets check it out!
Sandstorm: *hits him on the head* You dolt. Dogs doesn't belong at Sunning Rocks.
Fireheart: Ow! Oh.....yeah....

*they sneak over*

Rapping Dogs:

Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't apologize so much. Its a jive, its a crutch I just used when I'm judged. Being fudged by a face I can't erase and can't see, cause I misplaced a dossier or monty python Cd, or something stupid like that, but jeasus is thats so bad to make my ego go splat like a tire going flat, I'm fat on a Big Mac- I'm being attacked, Tit For Tat, You f'ing beaurecrats you can just apologize back!

Sandstorm: *whispers* hey, I never realized how sensative dogs could be.
Fireheart: you understood that? it sounded to me like they were just making a whole lot of sounds to a really cool beat.
Sandstorm: well- I understood some of it. Its a Twoleg kind of music, called " Rap". I don't exactly know what a "big mac" is.
Fireheart:...want to dance?

*a cat music video of the song" Sari" by Nelly Mckay-which I have so we can just play *

the rest of the lyrics:

but I don't know...and it comes and it goes...all the highs and the lows...of this motionless cycle...

eiii eii eii
i'm on a diamond straightaway
eiii eii eii
i cry every waking day
i don't know what else to say

but i'm.


sorry for the mess
the stupid way I dress
i musta failed my test
oh don't you know i'm
sorry for my views
i musta been confused
and yet you know that really I'm

sorry for you.

well now I don't mean to offend [much]
just comprehend when your a dog and your fenced in
and fen fenned to no end and no zen guide to help you fend off the brethren
and then the pen appears and no oxygen network
or the zord spear of a fork
or the morde pork for horde
its mooring post, the **** you'll miss the most when you're away
when your in snowshoe P.A.
doing some play from backstage
and dealing with aids, and gays, and relationships, and ballet
and then your like "hey hey,what did ya say?, I can just sing my troubles away"
but then your f'ed. cause you gotta make a buck, cause the whole world sucks,and your like a lame duck,
thats dying and lying, trying to sell but theres no-one buying
and you can preen,and scream, and dream, but your lifes affliction is the fiction of faust.

but I don't know, and it comes and it goes. all the highs and the lows inthis motionless cycle
and eiii eii eii Im' on a diamond straight away...
and eiii eii eii i cry every waking day
i don't know what else to say

i'm.


sorry for the time
the stupid way i rhyme
i knew i shoulda choosed a life a crime
sorry for my blues
i guess its all old news
yet you know that really i'm
sorry for you.

i'm sorry.....i'm sorry....i'm sorrry....sorry....sorry....

i also mirror this apology this ideaology of sorry
its part of the liberal theology thats leading us to hari kari
iits like a mythology almost
its like a maliengering ghost
as we slowly decompose
rotting in the grave of our polls
crying for senator wellstone, and then proceeding to moan
at our own supposed sabatoge at the elections at home
oh somebody phone home, the american people have spoken
now is that certain? maybe those nice mid-western folks were just joking?
in any case theres no use moping,choking, and sobbing
come on you dishearting dobbins
saying sorrys MY problem
so to conclude I'm a little of a prude
so its hard for me to allude
to all this rude,crude, verbal, baggage
but i manage cause i'm a savage inside
may listen to enya's greatest hits and try to contain my hissy fits with pride
but all those other lyers out there, and I don' wanna say
[die motha f'er] *fireheart and sandstorm gasp*
but i wouldn't mind if you did!
janet reno had no ego when devoured by the id
so before i catch my crib, and get myself out of this bind
i gotta say, you can hear whats on my lips, but you don't know whats on my mind!

and I'm

sorry for the mess
the stupid way I'm dressed
i guess i failed my test
and don't you know i'm
sari for my views
i don't know how to schmooze
and yet you know i'm really....

sari for you
sari for you
sari for you

[oh....i'm sari...]

*as the song fades- the dogs notice the dancing fireheart& sandstorm*
Fireheart: Oh yeah. I'm sorry.
Sandstorm:*notices dogs* uh....Fireheart...
Fireheart: Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh Uh huh Uh- *notices dogs*
Sandstorm: *speaks in a slow loud tone* "Hi. We were just admiring your song.."
Rapping Dogs: *growling and advancing on them*
Fireheart: *same tone as Sandstorm* "We were just leaving.."
Rapping Dogs: *leap at them*
Fireheart: RUNNNNNNN

*camera fades*
*camera fades in on Bluestar with the corpse of Tigerclaw*

Bluestar: You were a noble traitor. I will miss you much.
Cinderpelt *enters*: If I had more herbs, I could hav
Bluestar: SHUT UP!
Cinderpelt: Wha...?
Bluestar: SHUT UP SHUT UP!
Cinderpelt: Bluestar...are you ok...?
Bluestar: Didn't I say shut up you kaniving little....

*BEEEEEEEP*

Cinderpelt: Bluestar, what is wrong?
Bluestar: Nothing. Nothing is wrong. Everythings fine! Fine. *Twitches*
Cinderpelt: You don't...seem...
Bluestar: I said SHUT UP you *beep* and *beep* *beep*
Cinderpelt: I'm going to get some calming herbs. *leaves*
Bluestar: I will miss you Tigerpaw. You were a good ambitious fierce mentor. I love you Tigerpaw.

*Fireheart and Sandstorm come running out of nowhere*

Sandstorm: No time for that Bluestar! We've got to run!
Bluestar: SHUT UP! I'M IN MOURNING HERE!
*rapping dogs* VOS (voice off screen): BARK BARK BARK BARK
Fireheart: BLUESTAR! *slaps her* We have a vicous pack of crapping -
Sandstorm:-Rapping-
Fireheart: Yes that, dogs at our door and you are crying over the body of someone who tried to kill you?
Bluestar*whines* STARCLAN HAS ABANDONED ME! * in a completely different calm voice* Where did these dogs come from?
Fireheart: By the RiverClan Border.
Bluestar: YES I SEE iT ALL! WE MUST ATTACK WINDCLAN!
Sandstorm & Fireheart: What?
Bluestar: WINDCLAN HAS BEEN HUNTING IN OUR TERRITORY!
Fireheart: Bluestar, with all due respect, you have lost it.
Sandstorm -nods-
Fireheart: Bluestar, we have to- *dogs appear* RUUUUUNNNNN!!!!

*start running*

*camera fades*
Michele: I'm at a blank Kal. I think its your turn.
Kal: Michele is not a weakling....etc.
Michele: Ok, you can stop that now. Its getting on my nerves.
Kal: *runs out of breath*
Michele: Just type the next part.
*camera fades*

[kal]

Kal: Hmm lets see *gets to work*

Rapping dogs: Lalalala now we dont rap we sing darn YANKEES SONGS spinoffs sorta...Like instead of "a man doesnt know" its " A dog doesnt know" hehe arent we so smart?! Huzzah! *Stop running and go in a line singing "A dog doesnt know what he has until he loses it"*
Sandstorm: *whispers* We should take advantage of this.
Whole forest: Run into next forest!
Bluestar: What happened to the twolegs? and such?
Fireheart: I guess things changed.....
Sandstorm: Well I guess Bluestars dead and stuff...
Bluestar: OK! *Dies*
Firestar: Ok so we have kits now
*squirrelpaw and leafpaw appear out of no where*
Umm all the cats went on the journey and all the apprentices are warriors and we now have new apprentices. Cowriter Kal and Michele know the names so no use in writeing them.
FOREST: NEW BEGINNING!YAY!

*fades*

Kal: Your turn.

[Mickey]

Squirrelflight: So I figured we should probably introduce you to the new characters now. I'm Squrrelflight, allow I was Squirrelpaw until recently, and so yeah. Basically I'm a pain in the *beep* but I love Brambleclaw, who is obsessing over his brother, so I hate him, which sucks because I really do love him....

Brambleclaw: Wtf? I love you too. I'm just connected to my kin, thats all.
Squirellflight: No way man. You totally love Hawkfrost way more than me.
Brambleclaw: He's my brother!
Squrrelflight: He is in another clan!
Brambleclaw: Why doesn't me crossing borders to talk to Tawnypelt ever bother you?
Squirrelflight: Uh...let me get back to you on that....

Leafpool: I....see dead cats...
Squirrelflight: You mean, you share dreams with StarClan.
Leafpool:I see dead cats....
Crowfeather: AHHHH!! I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING FEATHERTAIL! I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU!
Leafpool: I don't know why, but Feathertail told me last night that you need to move on.
Crowfeather: Not happening.
Leafpool: Well, that sucks, because I love you.
Crowfeather: I love you too.
Leafpool: What about Feathertail?
Crowfeather: Feather who now?
Leafpool: You chose your warriors name for her!
Crowfeather: Can you change it please? From this day forward I want to be known as "Crowpool"
Leafpool: Uh...You'll have to talk to Tallstar about that.
Crowfeather: Ok lets go see him!


*fades*
*fades in on Firestar,Crowfeather, & Leafpool, Onewhisker&Tallstar*

Tallstar: I'm totally about to die man.
Firestar: But your immortal!
Tallstar: Guess not.
Crowfeather: Can you change my name first? I want to be "crowpool"
Tallstar: Sure...why not. But first I have to totally rip my clan in half by naming a new deputy on my deathbed.
Crowfeather: Sounds Good.
Tallstar: Mudclaw isn't right to lead the clan. We need to cooperate with the other Clans to survive. I want to name Onewhisker as my deputy now. *di-* Oh. And make Crowfeather Crowpool. *dies*

Crowpool: That counts right? He didn't use the right words, but who cares?
Leafpool: Doesn't matter to me.
Crowpool: Sweet. Hey wait, he didn't name Onestar with the right words either. And Mudclaw isn't gonna be happy.
Firestar: Oh, who effing cares. At least my best friend in other clans will be leader now, which come to think of it is like highly suspicious looking...
Leafpool: Yeah, but they'll listen to me. I'm a medicine cat.
Firestar: You're my daughter.
Crowpool: Well, they'll listen to me.
Firestar: You just took my daughters name. Hey, why did you do that anyway?
Crowpool: Uh...Oh! Look over there!!!!
Firestar: Huh? Its...

All: COWRITER KAL!!!!!!!!!
Kal: Hey guys. Its my turn to write, do you happen to have a laptop?
Firestar: Uh....nope. Theres a desktop in the dining room though.
Kal: Cool. I'll go type now.

[kal]

Feathertail: *From starclan* GAH! I TOLD him to move on but I didnt mean change his name for that....that cat!
Bluestar: Calm down Feathertail! Its ok............I mean hes moving on like you told him and hes just going on.........Im sure he loves you even though your dead....
Feathertail: He forgot about me!
Bluestar: oof that is bad!
Feathertail: *Cries*
Bluestar: Feathertail...Crowpool is- *intrupeted by Feathertail crying louder*
Bluestar: hey Feathertail I just reallized somethinng....You guys never went on the journy so you technically never died.....
Feathertail:But *sniff* you never *sniff* fo*sniff*ught the *sniff* dogs *sniff* and-
Bluestar: STOP SNIFFING!
Feathertail: Sorry. You never fought the dogs and you died!
Bluestar: Firestar said so. Hes never wrong. Ill go to Firestar in a dream saying that he should say that your alive. You poof out of nowhere and Crowpool will remember you!
Feathertail: YAYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


-----------------------------------

Firestar: *yawns* ahhh aa good night sleep. Nothings wrong so I shouldnt get dreams from starclan
Bluestar: HEY FIRESTAR!
Firestar: ahhhh i wantted a GOOD nights sleep
Bluestar:Its just a quick message. Say the words "Feathertail is alive because they never went on the journey. Bluestar is the coolest cat and was the best leader in the world. YAY BLUESTAR!!!! Funky chickens with wigs are awesome. Cowriter Michele is a weakling. YAY BLUESTAR! huzzah for her. If-
Firestar: I cant remember all this stuff!
Bluestar: OK ill be right beside ya feeding ya lines
Firestar: So I adress my clan with that tommorow?
Bluestar: Yup
Firestar: OK see ya tommorow!
Bluestar: See ya! *walks out*


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Crowpool: Ahh I love you
Leafpool: I love you too.
Crowpool: I love you more than that cat.........She was supposed to go on the journy that never happened....
Leafpool: FEATHERTAIL
Crowpool: Who? What were we talking about? AH A THUNDERCLAN CAT! WHY ARE YOU ON WIND CLAN TERRITORY!
Leafpool: But you........and me.........and love...and I love you and you love me!
Crowpool: Thats retarted! I would never betray my clan!
Leafpool: but you named yourself for me
Crowpool: Were through!
Leafpool: Well fine! *Takes rake and tries to beat up car but car drives off but rams into a truck. Smiles and runs off of WindClan territory*

----------------------
Kal: ooo Michele its your turn! Wadda think?
Michele: *reads* Reminds me of something...Like Desprate Housewives!
Kal: Exactly! Well here ya go............im gonna go watch rent. Im suffering from Norentitis.

[Mickey]

The Love Story:

Squirrelflight: Look at that! He's with Hawkfrost! Again!
Leafpool: That doesn't mean anything, because technically Tigerclaw was killed without doing anything. Oh wait, he still killed Redtail. But he didn't kill Brindleface. Oh, but he was going to lead the dogs….*rambles off* But still. Brambleclaw is his son too, and he's good. Can't you give Hawkfrost the benefit of the doubt?
Squirrelflight: Uh….no. I mean, there only half brothers and he is like in love with him!
Leafpool: Well, is he trying to tell you something? Do you think he's gay?
Squirrelflight: He doesn't look extrodinarily happy to me. *shrugs*
Leafpool: I meant…never mind. What if he just isn't attracted to you anymore?
Squirrelflight: Oh please.* watching Hawkfrost leave* Who couldn't be attracted to me?
Leafpool: Well its possible.* watching Brambleclaw, who has turned around*
Squirrelflight: Huh. Well not after this! *scampers after Brambleclaw*
Leafpool: Whatare you doing?
Brambleclaw: *jumps* Sqquurrillflight? Does this mean you're talking to me again?
Squirrelflight: *begins to sing*

Where do you go, with your broken heart in tow
What do you do, with the left over you
And how do you know, when to let go
Where does the good go, where does the good go
Look me in the eye and tell me you don't find me attractive
Look me in the heart and tell me you won't go
Look me in the eye and promise no love's like our love
Look me in the heart and un break broken, it won't happen
It's love that breaks the seal of always thinking you would be
Real, happy and healthy, strong and calm, where does the good go
Where does the good go
Where do you go when you're in love and the world knows
How do you live so happily while I am sad and broken down
What do you say it's up for grabs now that you're on your way down
Where does the good go, where does the good go.

Leafpool: Oh brother……..

Where does the good go? Where does the good go? Where does the good go?

Look me in the eye and tell me you don't find, me attractive
Look me in the heart and tell me you won't go
Look me in the eye and promise no love like our love.
Look me in the heart and unbreak broken, it won't happen.
Where does the good go? Where does the good go?

{Where does the good go? -Grey's Anatomy-}

Leafpool : *slaps herself* She is in like way over her head….
Brambleclaw: *transfixed* *silence* So I take it your talking to me?
Squirrelflight: Hmph.
Brambleclaw: Ok…so what was all that?
Squirrelflight: Leafpool (who is in the back ground still whacking herself) has this crazy idea that you don't love me.
Brambleclaw: Oh. Well that's ridiculous, but I can't be with you…you know that….
Squirrelflight: Why?
Brambleclaw *thoroughly counfused* Well you, you said…that…hawkfrost…
Squirrelflight: Just do whatever ya gotta do with him and then please come back.
Brambleclaw: Uh…ok…*leaves*
Leafpool: *walks up to Squirrelflight* What were you thinking??
Squirrelflight: Well, we've got time.* sniffles*


*off in the distance* Firestar is watching his daughter and Brambleclaw*

Firestar:

Wait, wait for the dawn my dear
Wait 'till the sun gets here
and you will wait too long, he will be gone.

Wait, wait 'till the sun shines through
Wait 'till the sky is blue
and you will wait too long, he will be gone.
He will be gone.

Oooo, he will be gone.
Oooo, he will be gone.

*cut to- Brambleclaw, sitting alone upset *

Wait, wait 'till the signs are right
Wait 'till the perfect time
and you will wait too long,she will be gone.
She will be gone.

Oooo, She will be gone. -cut to squirrelflight-
Oooo, He will be gone.

Wait, wait 'till you doubt no more
Wait 'till you know you're sure
and you will wait too long, he will be gone.

Firestar: * Bows head *
-cut to- Kal & Michele-

Kal: * crying *
Michele: ..uh..Kal?
Kal: ITS JUST SO SAD!!!!!
Michele: *rolls eyes * Just write the next part. We should be wrapping it up soon.
Kal *sniffles * …kay.

[Mickey]

Firestar: Alright, i know that we don't have a great gathering place here, since you know we don't have a convient tree or something to cross to that island...

Sandstorm: heres an idea! lets jump!

Hawkfrost:Well we know a tree isn't going to randomly get struck by lightening...*shifts eyes*...so whos gonna jump?

Dappletail: Its too dangerous!

*everyone looks at her*

Firestar: Weren't you dead?

Dappletail: Oh yeah *dies*

Hawkfrost: Its not to dangerous! So whos gonna jump?


Squirrelflight: I wouldnt hate you if you jumped!

Brambleclaw: YAY!

Hawkfrost: *ponders* I see you're point. *jumps*

Mudclaw: NO! Don't jump! I need you're help to take over...never mind.

Hawkfrost: REWIND.

Firestar: I think we have to move on to other things here...

*everyone ignores*

starclan: Hmmm the whole YOU CANT DIE I NEED YOUR FOR MY TAKING OVER OF......sounded suspisous.......*strikes a tree that falls on Mudclaw..* Taken care of.

Mudclaw: OUCH! Great starclan wtf! OUCH!

Firestar: Hey! We got a way to the island now!

Sandstorm: GO starclan!

Everyone: YAYYYYY *crosses over the the island

Mudclaw: DId anyone ever think about ME! no theres poor little mudclaw but who cares! O mudclaw has a tree on him? o well!

Hawkfrost: Here... *picks up tree*

Squirrelflight: THAT IS TOTALLY SUSPICOUS!

Brambleclaw: O please you think EVERYTHING is suspicious! Mudclaw and Hawkfrost are simply trying to take over windclan. no suspicion there!

...

..wait a second...

Squirrelflight: Told ya. *sticks out tongue*
Leafpool: Hey, ya know, My love story is getting NO attention WHATSO EVER
Crowfeather: I love Feathertail, remember
Firestar: Seriously...the whole meeting?
Leafpool: Traitor!
Crowfeather: Oh, don't be like that leafpool. I love you
Feathertail: What about me?
Leafpool: You are dead, so whatever, and Crowfeather, you are effing confusing you know
Crowpool: who are you? where are we? Why am I here? AM I DEAD? WHAT DOES DEAD MEAN?
Leafpool: *stares*
Firestar: *coughs* Excuse me? We have a meeting here...
Sandstorm: *calls to Hawkfrost* Yeah ya know were over here.....you can put the tree down
Hawkfrost: ROIGHT!
Squirellflight: That british accent is totally suspicious
Brambleclaw: Not as suspicious as that rock
Squirrelflight: OMG YEAH!
Firestar: HELLO!?!?!??!? MEETING?!?!?!? IN PROGRESS!??!?!?Sandstorm: We know honey and we hope your having a GREAT time with it
Firestar: Uh, right, anyways.
Onewhisker: Right, and I have a little anouncement to make...
Blackstar: What Onewisker *Looks at lovingly*
Onewhisker: Uh....-moves away from Blackstar-
Lepordstar: Hey Blacky what about me?
Firestar: that could be offensive to black people.Leopardstar: How about his other nickname.... "Starry?"

--cut to kals bedroom with Michele reading it and says "WTF"--

--cut to forest--

Squirrelflight: Starry sounds suspicious.....IS BLACKSTAR PLANNING TO GO OUT WITH LEPORSTAR? OR ONEWISKER? TUNE IN NEXT WEEK TO FIND OUT IF I MAKE UP WITH BRAMBLECLAW Anyway you will see next week....But back to NOW


Firestar: When did this become a TV show?
Onewhisker: So I'm just going to say it right now, before there is like more interruptions. I have recently become the head of WindClan. Tall star named me deputy before passing into our ancestors. I wasn't stong enough to save him. But I promise, I will be. When I become the greatest Jedi....

Everyone else: WRONG MOVIE

Onewhisker: Long story short, I am now Onestar & Tallstar ticked Mudclaw off.
Everyone else: Ohh, gotcha.
Mudclaw: ----Death Glare----
Onestar: Ooo! Like that!

Firestar: Alright, lets end this gathering before going off on another random loose end.

- - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - -- - - - - - -- - - - --------------------------------------------------

Brambleclaw: I don't know why, but suddenly I have this like...feeling that something is gonna go wrong tonight. You know what I mean?

Leafpool: Its probably the fact that its raining....and storming...

Brambleclaw: Well, considering how i'm ready for this to end, we've got to be coming up on some-

*mistyfoot bursts in*

- oh! like that!!!!!

Mistyfoot: Mudclaw...evil....hawkfrost....attacking...windclan...helpp...
Squirrelflight: We've got to go help!
Firestar: I agree! LETS GO!!!!


------------------everyone battling everyone & singing "we are not yet dead" -----------------
Brambleclaw: -Attacks Mudclaw-
Mudclaw: -holds brambleclaw down-
Hawkfrost: -kills Mudclaw-
Bramble: Yay! I knew you were good.
Hawkfrost: Sort of...I mean you are my brother...and i did still help mudclaw....
Squirrelflight: I HEARD THAT! YOU'RE TOTAllY EVIL!!!!!

Firestar: ( looks after them sadly as the greys anatomy song " the song beneath the love song" plays) Mudclaw is dead. That means this battle is officially over.
Thunderclan: *cheers*
Snowkit: YAY! My first battle as the best warrior in ThunderClan!
Squirrelflight: -runs off-
Brambleclaw: Oh but I love you!
Firestar: ( looks after them sadly as the greys anatomy song " the song beneath the love song" plays and everyone cheers)


Assorted things occuring at once:

Cinderpelt: *whining* I'm out of herbs!!!!

Leafpool: I love you crowfeather
Crowpool: I love you too.
Feathertail: What about me?
Crowfeather: I love you.
Leafpool: What about me?
Crowpool: I love you
Feathertail: What about me?
Crowfeather: I love you...

[etc.]

Sandstorm: So i'm gonna go, its time for poker with the gals.

Tigerclaw: Remember, DevilClan rules

Stumpytail: I am awesome. Yay cow.
Tallstar: Do you even listen to yourself when you speak?
Onestar: You're alive?
Tallstar: Duh! I'm immortal! I just needed you guys to get Mudclaw outta the way.And now this battle is complete!

Cowriter Kal: Micheles a weakling!!!
Cowriter Michele: I AM NOT A WEAKlING!!!
Cowriter Kal: DON'T HURT ME!!!!!
[/end everything happening at once]

Snowkit: YAY! My first battle as the best warrior in ThunderClan!


Leopardstar: Oh. My. God. Its a freaking KIT! How can a deaf kit be the best WARRIOR in ThunderClan? And How can a cat play poker?Wait a minute, this WHOLE THING was just supposed to be the battle for Sunning Rocks! And why am I suddenly the only one talking? Hello? HELLO?!?!?!?!?

----fade out----

Leopardstar- VOS- Why is it all dark? I'm all alone!!!!

----fade in, shes sitting on a rock with a big sign that says 'sunning rocks'-------

Leopardstar- OMG! So I win! I get SunningRocks! And I didn't even have to say 'please'! I WIN!!!!!


Twolegs: *Bulldoze forest*


-End.-

Curtain Call:


[coming soon- when we figure out who plays who]

----fade in-----

Firestar: One last song people, everyone in place!!!!

[Find Your Grail kicks in]

[kal]

Cool. Its done so people should comment now! And I dont think we should use Find your Grail. I dont know we should just play a song while ppl do final bows..then put up credits and it says "The End" and i dont have anything to edit so the credits will be us filming a piece of paper that says like "Flip as Snowkit!" while we say it and he takes a bow.

[Mickey]

haha, no what we should do now as make a casting post, like who's gonna play who <3

and yeah we'll skip the find you're grail

[kal]

And whos gonna be voices of who. I wanna do Bluestar! and Squirrelflight/leafpool! you can be Snowkit. You can also make the thread!

[Weirdo/ Taki]

So are you/we actually gonna make this?

COOLIO AWESOME MAN!!!! Ooo! Can I be Tigerclaw and Brambleclaw? I can do a totally aweosme evil voice and a needy voice!

[kal]

You can do Tigerclaw if kev doesnt do it. He is AMAZING at a menancing. and if Snowkit is a he james can be snowkit.........Taki if you want we need a Hawkfrost/Mudclaw....theyre evil!